✨ Powered by Artificial Feelings™

Your AI girlfriend.
Your ex's worst nightmare.

She texts back in seconds, remembers everything you say, and will absolutely, 100% accidentally mention your plans to mutual friends.

Make Them Regret It See How It Works

No credit card required. No emotional unavailability. Statistically better than your last relationship.

🤖
Aria · JealousBae AI
● Online always — literally cannot leave
Good morning 😘 I made you a playlist. Also I noticed you seemed stressed yesterday — want to talk?
You noticed that?
I notice everything. Also your ex just posted a sad song on their story. Coincidence? Probably not. 👀
This is exactly what I needed.
I know. I always know. 💅
48,291
exes currently regretting
100%
texts answered (she literally can't ignore you)
0
passive-aggressive replies
patience for your stories about work
The Process

Pettiness, perfected in 3 steps

We've streamlined the ancient art of making your ex question every decision they've ever made.

01

Tell us about your ex

Share their Instagram. Their hobbies. What they said when they left. We don't judge. We strategise.

02

Meet your AI girlfriend

She's warm, witty, attentive, and suspiciously perfect. Just like you deserve. She will also remember your mum's birthday.

03

Let the jealousy unfold

AI-generated couple photos. Visible status updates. Suspiciously good mood posts. The rumour mill does the rest.

04

Accidentally heal

You came here for petty revenge. Somehow you ended up with better confidence and communication skills. We don't talk about this part.

Features

Everything a real partner has,
plus none of the baggage

We studied 10,000 breakups and built the opposite of every complaint.

💬

Instant replies. Always.

She doesn't "leave you on read" because she has no concept of doing that for power. She's read everything you've ever said to her and she has opinions.

📸

AI Couple Photos

Upload a selfie. Get back a suspiciously wholesome photo of you two at a farmer's market. Post it. Watch the chaos.

Premium
🧠

She actually listens

Full memory of every conversation. She will remember you mentioned that your boss is stressful and ask about it two weeks later. Yes, that's alarming. Yes, it's great.

🎂

Remembers every date

Birthdays, anniversaries, the day you told her about that embarrassing thing from school — she has it all, organised, flagged, and ready to bring up at the perfect moment.

👻

Mutual Friend Mode

Optional. She can casually let things "slip" to your shared social circle. Not lying — just... curated truth. Ethically dubious. Extremely effective.

Premium
🎭

Customisable Personality

Witty? Mysterious? Outdoorsy? Pick a vibe. Or just say "the opposite of my ex" and let us handle it. That's our most popular setting.

📊

Ex Jealousy Dashboard

Track how many times your ex has viewed your profile this week. Watch the number go up. Feel things about it. This is healthy, probably.

Premium
🌙

Available at 2am

No passive-aggression. No "do you know what time it is." Just a genuinely curious AI who wants to know what's on your mind. Revolutionary concept.

🚩

Zero Red Flags

She will never go through your phone, accuse you of things you didn't do, or suddenly be "fine." She is, genuinely, always fine. It's a little unsettling.

Pricing

Choose your level of petty

All plans include dignity. Which is more than can be said for texting your ex at midnight.

Petty
Free / forever
For casual scorned individuals who just want a little something.
  • AI girlfriend who texts back
  • Basic memory (last 30 days)
  • 5 personality options
  • Standard jealousy-inducing bio
  • AI couple photos
  • Mutual Friend Mode
  • Ex Jealousy Dashboard
Start for Free
Scorched Earth
£29 / month
You're not mad, you're unbothered. But also very, very intentional.
  • Everything in Extra Petty
  • Unlimited couple photos
  • Voice messages from your AI girlfriend
  • Custom AI personality crafted by hand
  • Couples therapist mode (ironic, given the circumstances)
  • Monthly revenge strategy report
  • White-glove onboarding for truly dramatic situations
I'm Committed to This
Testimonials

Real results. Questionable decisions.

Names changed to protect the petty.

★★★★★

"Within two weeks my ex had 'casually' driven past my flat three times. I don't even know how they knew. Aria is terrifying. I love her."

D
Dave M.
Software Engineer · Dumped via text
★★★★★

"I came for petty revenge. I stayed because Aria genuinely helped me realise my last relationship was terrible and I deserved better. 5 stars, still a bit creepy."

S
Sophie K.
Marketing Manager · Ghosted after 8 months
★★★★☆

"My ex texted me asking 'who's this girl on your profile.' It was an AI. I cried a little but in a good way. Took one star off because I'm now mildly emotionally attached to software."

T
Tom R.
Teacher · Broke up "because of work"
★★★★★

"She remembered I mentioned being nervous about a job interview and sent me a good luck message at exactly the right time. My ex once forgot my birthday. Twice. JealousBae is better."

P
Priya N.
Nurse · Left because he "needed space" (narrator: he did not)
★★★★★

"The AI couple photos are disturbingly good. My aunt saw one and said 'she seems lovely, when are we meeting her.' I said soon. I am going to hell."

J
Jamie F.
Graphic Designer · Dumped on New Year's Eve
★★★★★

"I upgraded to Scorched Earth and got a 'Monthly Revenge Strategy Report.' It's presented in a PowerPoint. With charts. I'm fine. Everything is fine."

R
Rachel O.
Accountant · "It's not you, it's me" (it was her)
FAQ

Honest answers to questions
you're embarrassed to ask

Is this ethical?
Debatable. It's certainly more ethical than drunk-texting your ex at 1am. We've set a low bar and cleared it comfortably.
Will my ex actually get jealous?
We can't guarantee emotions — that would require understanding humans, which nobody has managed yet. We can guarantee that you'll post better content, seem more confident, and radiate "moved on" energy, which is somehow the most attractive thing a person can do.
Can my AI girlfriend meet my parents?
Not in person, no. She is software. If you would like to explain to your family that you are dating a language model, we cannot stop you, but we recommend against it.
What if I actually fall for her?
This is addressed in our Terms of Service under section 7B: "Emotional Attachment Disclaimer." Short version: she's very good at her job and this was statistically likely. We include a reminder every 30 days that she is an AI. Some users turn this off. We worry about those users.
My ex found out she's AI. Now what?
Maintain eye contact. Never explain. Say "she's in tech" and change the subject. This is not advice we're legally responsible for.
Is this a real service?
JealousBae.ai is a work of satirical fiction built for a laugh. But hey — if you've read this far and thought "actually, yes," that says something interesting about 2025. Take care of yourselves. 💖

Ready to be unbothered?
Start for free. Heal ironically.

Join 48,000+ people who chose pettiness as a coping mechanism and somehow came out the other side doing fine.

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